Wom

Stranger: wow
You: Is mom upsidedown.

Noob Encounter

Stranger: asl??//
You: ...Why?
Stranger: jst 4 frmlty
You: Vowels exist for a reason.
Stranger: r u gay or lasbian
You: Are you stupid or mentally ill?
Stranger: m jst askng ur sex
Stranger: m or f
You: I take it that you're just stupid... F
Stranger: k f9
Stranger: age
You: 21...
You: USE THIS ➜ ?
Stranger: wht is ths
You: It is a question mark... It is used in questions...
Stranger: frm where
You: The English language...
You: The thing you're failing at...
Stranger: sex chat
You: Buy a real prostitute and get the fuck off my Omegle... Omegle is not a sex chat, you filthy bastard.
Stranger: u bich mind ur yng
You: ... WHAT?
You: DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
You: ¿HABLAS ESPANOL?
Stranger: ny wy jst tell me wht is ial sex
You: Speak English and I will tell you. If you're so stupid you can't even properly write a sentence, then you belong in a dumpster or North Korea...
Stranger: can u tell me wht is oral sex
You: Almost there, buddy! I'm proud of you, and please don't give up! Just a few more steps. Try the Shift Key. It is two keys above the Space Bar, and to the far left.
Stranger: wht hapn????????
Stranger: wht is ths
m askng oral sex
You: You know that "A" that you used in the word "Asking"? Use that A more often. :D Try again, friend.
Stranger: I M ASKING WH IS ORAL SEX
You: Calm down buddy... Clearly you can't communicate... I will ask you if this is what you said and you're going to answer Y for yes and N for no... Ready?
You: Did you mean, "I'm asking what is oral sex."?
Stranger: ya
You: Alright then... Now that that's cleared, I'll tell you...
Stranger: k tell
You: http://tinyurl.com/yf79zk7
You: Go to that URL.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

His only terrorism is being a troll...

Stranger: my name is not khan but i am a terrorist
You: My name is Khan but I am not a terrorist
...
Stranger: osama bin laden
Stranger: i m in iraq right now
You: OSAMA DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU IDIOT!
...
Stranger: ya allah....rahimullah allah e shenshah
You: He doesn't pronounce it in English...
You: His keyboard would be in Arabic.

Honesty?

Stranger: horny girl with msn?
You: Stupid man with MSN?
Stranger: yes
You: I give you credit for that, but a las, I don't give a fuck. ;D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Smart

Stranger: are you hard?
You: No, I'm James.
Stranger: alright smart ass
You: Who's being smart now?
Stranger: ummm.... you are

[Note: I asked who was being smart, not being a smart ass... +1 for complement! :D]

Little boy

Stranger: 17 m usa hornyyy
You: 28 F UK
Stranger: msn cam ;)?
Stranger: or am i to young
You: D:< Little boy, I was in 11th grade in America when you started school...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Chris!

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Christopher! :D How are you, man?
Stranger: fine thanks,
You: That's great! :D So how are the kids?
Stranger: im 15
You: But how are the kids? D: Have they gone back to school?
Stranger: i have not kids
You: But you did last time I saw you! D:
Stranger: what?
Stranger: xD
You: When you visited last fall, you and the kids came over for bobsledding. :D Remember?
Stranger: no i not remember
Stranger: very nice knowing
Stranger: xD
You: Well, you were out of sugar to make truffles, so you and your wife came over for a cup, so I asked you if you wanted to go bobsledding. You were a bit confused by my question, then I assured you that there would be free food, so you came... :D
Stranger: im not man
Stranger: xD
You: Neither was you wife... Anyways, don't you remember me, Chris? D: We went to college together! Dx
Stranger: xD
Stranger: lol

Gregory?

Stranger: hi
Stranger: 20 m usa
You: Hey
You: 35/F/USA
Stranger: horny?
You: My son is 20. :D
Stranger: ill take that as a yes
You: Are you my son?
Stranger: no
You: Gregory! Get off of Omegle!
Stranger: [Image]
You: Gregory... Go to bed, darling.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Turn off!

Stranger: Horny
You: Hey. ;D
Stranger: Horny?
Stranger: M/f
You: F
Stranger: Oo I'm m
You: Congratulations
Stranger: Talk dirty babe
You: I like Twilight.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Age?

Stranger: hey
You: Hey
Stranger: are you over 18 years ?
You: Are you over 30 years?
Stranger: nope
You: Over 25?
Stranger: nope
You: Over 10?
Stranger: u are right
You: FUCK
You have disconnected.

I chose F

Stranger: hey
You: Hey. :D
Stranger: m or f?
You: Can I choose any? O: The F appeases me.
Stranger: i meant male or female
You: Can I still choose any? D8

HEIL!

Stranger: Hi are you a justinbieberfan follow me on twitter @rumeysalovejb
You: FUUUUUUU
You: ONION RING IS SUPERIOR!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Rivals

Stranger: from india ?
You: No, I'm from... PAKISTAN!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

YMCA

Stranger: *FIST PUMPS*
Stranger: HEY
You: HELL YEAH!
You: *FIST PUMP*
You: SUP!
Stranger: GTL?
You: WOT?
Stranger: GYM/TAN/LAUNDRY
Stranger: BEFORE WE GO OUT
You: YMCA/LIGHT/WHITE ARE NOT TO BE MIXED WITH COLORED
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hry!

Stranger: hry
Stranger: *hney
Stranger: *hey
You: Hry. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Irony

Stranger: my god.. u cant even spell our hometown

Taste the Rainbow!

Stranger: 16 m bi
You: 13/M/Louisiana
Stranger: gay? straight? bi?
You: All of them.
Stranger: lol. do you know what they mean?
You: I like Skittles.
Stranger: you wanna taste my rainbow?
You: I only like the green ones.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm flat

You: I was called flat today... :c
Stranger: Sometimes bigger isn't always better.
You: D: Are you calling me flat too?
Stranger: I don't know if you are, but if you were, it might not be a bad thing is what I'm saying.
You: But what if I wasn't? ;-; Then it's a bad thing?
Stranger: Bigger can sometimes be better.
You: But you just said that bigger is sometimes not better.
You: There are two ways! How can they both be better? Dx
You: When one is better, the other is worse!
Stranger: I'm saying sometimes it doesn't matter if you're flat or not.
You: But what it if does? D: They wouldn't let me in the school club for nonflaties! Dx
Stranger: Who would want to be in a club that bases things off of that?
You: People who like free food! :O
Stranger: I can buy you food, if you want free food.
You: I don't take monies from strangies. D:
Stranger: You wouldn't be taking the money, you'd be taking the food.
You: D: Are you implying that I have to provide a service for it to not be taking money?
You: I CAN'T MOW LAWNS! Dx
Stranger: Hahaha, no. If I was considering the food as money, then you would be providing a service for payment. I just like to buy food for girls, which I'm assuming you are.
You: But if x = 4, then 4 = x. So thus, food = money and money = food.
Stranger: Except, I'm using money to get the food, which in turn I'm giving to you for free. Thus, money does not equal food.
You: Money = Food = Free
You: So Money = Free
Stranger: But variable A(that's me) would be using money(Variable M) to get food(Variable F) to give to Variable P(That's you). So when I use the money to get food, money is no longer a part of the equation. It's just food and you.
You: Why am I variable P? D: IS THAT A MESSAGE? Dx
Stranger: It's just you remind me of someone, so I went with P.
You: Prostitutes? D: So I'm a flat prostitute now? ;---; I WANT MY V8 NAO!!!
Stranger: hahaha, you remind of a friend whose name starts with P.
Stranger: and no, she's not a prostitute
You: :O I shall name you Joe.
You: And you shall by my little joe.
You: So A=M=F=P....
You: A=P? :O