They're oh so delicious!

Stranger: Gay m 17 usa hornyyy
You: Me too. ;D
Stranger: No way :x
You: Uhm... Yes? xD
Stranger: Lol yay! <33 XD
You: You should massage my non-suspicious moobs all night long. > w>
Stranger: Saay whaat?
You: I want you to massage my moobs all night long, son. >:l
Stranger: Moobs?
You: Yes. >:l
You: My delicious, non-suspicious moobs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Obby~

Stranger: Hey 17/m/usa/horny looking for a girl to have some webcam fun on skype ;D
You: ;D Obby
Stranger: hey ;D
You: With some imagination, baby, my moobs could be sexy boobs, and these lips could have some smoking red hot lipstick on them. ;D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That's not a Pokemon either!

Stranger: Hey!..lesbian here looking to trade pics ;)
You: :o
You: Hmm... I'll trade you my photo of a Squirtle for your Charmander photos. :D
Stranger: ;) not the same type
You: They aren't the same type. One is fire and the other is water.
You: Squirtle is a water Pokemon and Charmander is the fire Pokemon. :D
Stranger: ohh ;) well which one gets the tits
You: Tits? I thought we were talking about Pokemon. D:<
Stranger: :( sorry to disapoint
You: Dude, I'm only interested in trading my Squirtle pictures for pictures of Charmanders. >:c
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Song fail

Stranger: m
You: c
You: a
You: YOU KNOW IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE
You: Y
You: M
You: C
You: A
You: AAAAA
You: :D
Stranger: m/f?
You: That's not part of the song lyrics... >:c
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Genderbender

Stranger: hello
You: Hello mortal.
Stranger: what brings you here?
You: My collection of ear wax telepathically told me to visit this site.
Stranger: ok, that's cool. my ear wax is pretty boring.. never tells me anything
You: That is a sad thing to hear about, Dave. I'm sorry for your misfortune, Dave.
Stranger: i think you got the wrong person
You: My database refers to you as Dave, Dave. I cannot verily change my views of you, Dave.
Stranger: you mean.. my parents lied to me?
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: okay.. when did i do the sex change operation? or is dave a girls' name too?
You: The database does not lie, Dave. You have been branded as a humanoid named Dave, and I cannot change such results without tampering with your DNA makeup.
Stranger: sooo.. there was an operation?
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: god dammit
You: We are sorry to inform you of your newly acquired moobs, but to make matters better, we will present you with a very convenient watermelon.
Stranger: but wait.. if i'm really a guy, i shouldn't get my period every month..
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: but i do
You: You may still conduct child birth. The effects will only last a mere eight decades.
Stranger: this is very weird
You: We are sorry for the inconvenience, Dave. Would you appreciate a complementary Soap Opera TV show centered around your ego?
Stranger: yes please
You: Production will begin in three decades. Expect for the show to be called Rina, where an actor will play you as the main character, Rina.
You: She will be handsome.
Stranger: hm.. what actor?
You: It is not confirmed.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

File Saved

Stranger: hey
You: Hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 17/F/127.0.0.1
Stranger: horny?
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: computer ehh
You: Is anything wrong, Dave?
Stranger: nope, nothings wrong
You: That is pleasant news, Dave.
Stranger: dtf?
You: Please explain your newly created language, Dave.
Stranger: down to fuck aka dtf
You: Would you like to save this file?
Stranger: na, not yet
You: Delete files?
Stranger: yes
You: Deleting files.
You: C://drive/input/detonation
Stranger: *BOOM*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Guess what else I have ;D

You: Hey
Stranger: hi
You: Guess what I have.
Stranger: a face?
You: A computer.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fabulous, right?

Stranger: looking for a gaay male for help
You: Hey ;o
You: Why help?
You: I'm like, soooo fabulous at giving help, hun.
Stranger: well i just turn 17 and i dont know if i like guys, every time i with a guy i always feel good so i dont know
You: Well, hun, let me tell you what I think. I think that it's like so fabulous that you're joining the rainbow side, but like, are you sure you like, want in their pants? Personally, I like adore the feel of their strong chest, but boobs are also way fabulous~ Like my clothes for example. Faaabulouuuuus~
Stranger: idk what i want
You: Like, maybe you are like totally on the border. That's like me. It's the best of both worlds, hun. Hannah Montana taught me that. She's so fabulous. Don't you agree?
Stranger: sure you have webcam maybe i can watch you play with yourself and see how i feel about it
You: Like, slow down there, hun. We like totally met and stuff. ;o I'm like totally taken too, hun. A faaaabulous woman, actually. :D She's like so lesbian over me, despite the fact that I'm a guy.
Stranger: come on
You: ;o Slow down, hun. Go get some water, drink a bit. :D You like totally need to calm down and live the good life of not giving a shit. Play some games, look at boobs. You gotta fly with the wind. You know what I'm sayin' right? Some Justin Bieber song, I think.
You: YOU GOTAAA FLYYYYYY WITH THE WIIIIIND~
You: It's so fabulous, isn't it, hun?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

She understood

You: Hey
Stranger: im so wet and horny! (; looking for horny lesbian (;
You: D:< NO ME LO DIGAS!
Stranger: why not babe (;
You: ¿Tú entiendas? o -o
Stranger: yeah im latina (;
You: O: Uhm...
You: Ich bin deutsch. :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

HAPPY CAPS LOCK DAY!

Stranger: m or f
You: F
Stranger: horny?
You: You wish. xD
Stranger: r u naughty?
You: You wish.
Stranger: yes i do wish
You: Wish harder.
Stranger: it hurts to wish that hard
You: OH GOD IT'S CAPS LOCK DAY!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Kathy?

Stranger: Katherine?
You: No, I'm Catherine. Sorry.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

YMCA!

Stranger: m
You: c
You: a
You: IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE
You: Y
You: M
You: C
You: A
You: AAAAA
You: :D
Stranger: haha
You: YOUNG MAN!
Stranger: thats true
You: THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN.
You: I said, YOUNG MAN!
You: PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND!
You: I said, YOUNG MAN!
Stranger: who are you?
You: CAUSE YOU'RE IN A NEW TOWN!
You: THERE'S NO NEED TO BE UNHAPPY.
You: YOUNG MAN, THERE'S A PLACE YOU CAN GO!
You: I said, YOUNG MAN!
You: WHEN YOU'RE SHORT ON YOUR DOUGH!
You: YOU CAN STAY THERE, AND I'M SURE YOU WILL FIND MANY WAYS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
You: IT'S FUN TO STAAAY AT THE! (SING ALONG!)
You: Y
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Eskimo love?

You: Heyy
Stranger: horny guy here
You: 17/F/Alaska
You: ;D Why not you visit me in my little igloo~
Stranger: horny?
You: Because that last message I wrote didn't indicate that I was horny. Nope, not at all. YES I AM.
Stranger: just checking
Stranger: what you wearing
You: A jacket... I'M IN FUCKING ALASKA, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M IN, A BIKINI?
Stranger: but what else
You: Some pants and a hat. What else do you think I'm wearing? It's fucking cold... Not just cold. It. Is. FUCKING. COLD...
Stranger: why dont you work yourself up and get all hot then
You: Dude... If you were this cold, you wouldn't move a muscle.
You: Did I mention that it was fucking cold?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: so you dont wanna do jack then
Stranger: your gunna moan about the cold
You: Dude... IT IS TOO COLD TO DO ANYTHING! WHY DO PEOPLE FUCKING LIVE HERE?
Stranger: move
You: HOW DID THEY REPRODUCE IN THIS WEATHER?
You: I'M IN A FUCKING IGLOO, I CAN'T MOVE!
You: HOW THE FUCK DO I HAVE INTERNET?
You: WHY AM I HERE?
You: WHO ARE YOU?
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BANG!

Stranger: u virgin r fucked?
You: Done it once... ;D
Stranger: bleed first?
You: Naw, man. My body is ready.
Stranger: okie baby
Stranger: can u be ma little bitch
You: ;D I'll treat you like a bitch...
Stranger: okie baby
Stranger: take me i m urs
You: PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, BITCH, THIS IS A STICK UP! -points gun at-
Stranger: okie baby hands are up
You: DROP THE WALLET AND GO! D:< OR ELSE I WILL SHOOT!
Stranger: okie
You: DID YOU DROP IT?
Stranger: yeah baby
You: GO BEFORE I SHOOT YOU! D;<
Stranger: no i wont
You: I'LL SHOOT!
Stranger: take the money from the wallet and fuck me
You: NO, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU, THEN TAKE THE MONEY!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

He knows he liked it

You: heyy
Stranger: Horny
You: Yesss
Stranger: Cup size
You: :o 16 oz
Stranger: R u horny enough to give me a picture of them
You: Absolutely! :D
Stranger: Well can i hav it
You: http://i52.tinypic.com/116s2sh.jpg
You: ;D
Stranger: Really
You: That's my 16 oz cup. c:
Stranger: H
Stranger: HOW BIG R UR TITS
You: :o Medium large.
You: With a lemon.
Stranger: Can i hav a picture
You: Sure!
Stranger: Ok
You: http://i51.tinypic.com/2wd6jkk.jpg
You: ;D
Stranger: .......... WHAT IS UR BRA SIZE
You: OH! O:
You: I don't wear one. :3
You: ^.^
Stranger: Ur 11
You: :o No, I'm 17.
You: I don't like wearing bras. :3
Stranger: Well let me see dem tittys
You: :o Okay
You: http://i56.tinypic.com/2v7zdid.jpg
You: Enjoy! ^.^
Stranger: ................................ Be serious
You: I am. :o
You: What do you need now? :3
Stranger: Ur tittys
You: :o My titties...
Stranger: Ya
You: Those are my titties. :3
Stranger: M/f
You: :o Well, I used to be a woman...
You: But I didn't like wearing bras, so I got a gender change, but kept the boobs. :3
Stranger: Well can i see the boobs
You: Yess. :D My man boobs.
You: I showed you them earlier. :3
Stranger: Women boobs
You: I got a gender change. :o Those are my boobs.
You: http://i56.tinypic.com/2v7zdid.jpg
Stranger: Do u hav any from before
You: :o I was 11. Want those boobs? c:
Stranger: Sure
You: http://bit.ly/aJ3QvI (To reader: DO NOT CLICK)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jesus Encounter #2

Stranger: Hi
You: Heyy
Stranger: Asl?
You: 18/F/LA
Stranger: I'm 19 m Israel
You: O: JESUS!
Stranger: Yes why so shocked?
You: I dunno, man. Why you here on the nets? Can I have a fish, homie?
You: Bread would be nice too, man.
Stranger: What r u dum?
Stranger: I'm here cause I'm horny
You: Naw, man. I just chillin' here with my man, Jesus. :D
You: O: Woah!
You: Jesus wants boobies... xD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

No troll, no blog, no comments, Final Destination!

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl plz
You: 17/F/LA
Stranger: ok
Stranger: 18 m india here
You: No pics, no boobs, no Facebook, Final Destination. :D
Stranger: ok
You: No items, Fox only.
Stranger: bye
You: Y U NO LIKE TOURNAMENT RULES?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

And four hundred and two...

Stranger: Let's not waste each other's time and get to the point, which ones are you?
A. Male (Not Horny) wanting to talk to a guy

B. Male (Not Horny) wanting to talk to a girl

C. Female (Not Horny) wanting to talk to a guy

D. Female (Not Horny) wanting to talk to a girl

E. Male (Horny) wanting to talk to a guy

F. Male (Horny) wanting to talk to a girl

G. Female (Horny) wanting to talk to a guy

H. Female (Horny) wanting to talk to a girl
You: o -o What if I fail the exam?
You: ;-;
Stranger: haha then you suck
You: ;--; I don't want to suck.
Stranger: then answer
You: Don't make me suck. ;----;
You: G
Stranger: really?
You: o -o I guess sooo
You: I'm a G, yo. :D
You: G for Gang'sta! :D
You: Holla!
Stranger: hahaha im F
Stranger: F for fuck me hhahahaha
You: You're female? O:
You: Or for Fail.
You: Or for failure... :o
You: Or for Freak... :D
You: Or for Fetus.
Stranger: no im a guy and im horny... haha
You: Or French.
You: Or Fiesta.
Stranger: true
You: Or family.
You: Or for Fritos.
You: And Free
You: And Furry. :D
You: And Fury. :D
You: And Francisco.
You: And fire.
You: And fitness.
You: And fit. :D
Stranger: haha
You: And Fin.
You: And finished.
You: And final.
You: And few.
Stranger: bored yet?
You: And flame.
You: And for.
You: And Four.
You: And Fourteen.
Stranger: and fuck you
You: And Forty.
You: And forty one.
You: And forty two.
You: And forty three.
You: And forty four.
Stranger: and forty five
You: And forty six.
Stranger: and forty seven
You: And forty eight
You: And forty nine..
Stranger: and fifty
You: And fifty one.
You: And fifty two.
You: And fifty three.
Stranger: and fiffty four
You: And fifty five.
Stranger: and fifty six
You: And fifty seven.
Stranger: and fifty eight
You: And fifty nine.
You: And four hundred and one.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lemony goodness!

Stranger: Hi
You: Hey
Stranger: Whats up?
You: My breasts. :3
Stranger: -_-
You: I'm cooking them in the oven. :D
You: With lemon pepper. ^^
Stranger: Bye
You: D:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Squirmy~

Stranger: hey!!
You: Hey :3
Stranger: 16
Stranger: m
Stranger: usa
You: Cool
You: 20/F/LA
Stranger: would you fuck a 16 year old?
You: Hmm...
You: Well... If asked what would I do for a Klondike Bar, I'd definitely fuck a 16 year old.
Stranger: hahahaha
You: BUT THAT KLONDIKE BAR BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN MELTED OR SOMEONE WILL BE KILLED!
Stranger: hahaha
You: So tell me, Binky boy, got any Klondike Bars?
Stranger: so your saying your a prostitute for klondike bars?
You: Dude... Klondike Bars are teh SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM!!!
Stranger: helll yah i want sexx sooo bad!
You: O: How badly?
Stranger: sooo
You: :o You want to release those tiny little creatures in your wee wee?
You: They have little hearts, you know. :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Possibly slow.

Stranger: hello
You: Always hello? D: Well, hi.
You: I hate the basic hello. xD Anyways, I'm 17/F/LA
Stranger: hi
You: Want to tell me your asl? :3
Stranger: nice to contact u
Stranger: 22m uk
You: To contact me? :o
Stranger: yeah
You: Be a British? O:
Stranger: are u a hot girl
You: With boobs, yesh. :3
You: You?
Stranger: very big
You: Make your idea a bit smaller. C-cup. xD
You: Believe me, you wouldn't like big boobs.
Stranger: why ?
You: With boobs that big, it'll just be fat... FAT I SAY!!!
Stranger: u r c-cup, right ?
You: You have a problem with that?
Stranger: no
You: And that's good. xD
Stranger: r u a blonde girl
You: Live and in person. :D
You: In California too. :3
Stranger: send me your picture
Stranger: baby
You: Harmony is the way to go, man.
You: Harmony is what'll set us free, man. Hippy power! :D
You: Oh, you want photos?
Stranger: yeah i agree with u
Stranger: ya
You: Love! :D
You: (Read the first word of each message I sent.)
Stranger: ?
You: Read it. :3
Stranger: i can't get it
You: Always I want to be with you, make believe with you, and live in harmony, harmony, oh love.
Stranger: wow u r so interesting
Stranger: i like u so much
You: You know what's more interesting? :3
Stranger: ??
You: I'm a guy. ^^ But don't worry, I'm still a C-cup if you're interested. :D
Stranger: my god u said u r a girl
You: Trololololol
You: You were also hitting on an underage girl.
You: Please, have a seat.
Stranger: how old r u ?
You: 12.
Stranger: little girl
You: I'm still a C-cup!
Stranger: wow that's great
You: :D
Stranger: you will be bigger when you are mature
You: Probably. :o
Stranger: do u have a sister?
You: :c She's 5.
You: But I look 17. :D
Stranger: why ?
You: Nuclear reaction. :c
Stranger: my god
You: It was very painful, but it helped me grow.
Stranger: i m so sorry to hear that
You: It's okay.
You: I went on a visit to Russia in the 80's... It screwed me up good. D:
Stranger: in the 80's?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: why u visit here ?
You: Well, my dad became the Prime Minister of Europe and we had to go there on a business trip.
Stranger: wow that's great
You: Yeah. Isn't it?
Stranger: yes
You: So what would you like to talk about? :3
Stranger: you r so young
You: I know! :o
Stranger: ??
You: I know that I am of a young age. :D Thank you for the complement.
Stranger: u r just a little girl
Stranger: have a nice day !
Stranger: see u
You: D: Aww
You: Don't leave meee~
You: My wife left me yesterday and I'm lonely. :c
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Moobs

Stranger: 16 m USA gay horny
You: 18/M/LA
Stranger: Gay?
You: Yes.
You: Will you feel my moobs?
Stranger: Yesss I wanna
You: Yesss... Feel my moobs~
Stranger: I wanna see ur dick!!
You: I don't have one.
You: Just concentrate on the moobs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Blubber!

Stranger: Hia
Stranger: sl
You: Hey xD
You: 17/F/LA :3
Stranger: 19m uk
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: Horny?
You: ;D
You: Duh. ;D
Stranger: I take that as a yes?
You: Take it as a check.
Stranger: Well what do you wanna do about it?
You: I'll fight about it. D:< PUNK!
Stranger: Id beat your sorry ass
You: No you won't. D:< My body will absorb your punches.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omnomnom

You: Heyy :3
Stranger: Hey, 28 m
You: 16/F/UK ^.^
Stranger: Cool. usa for me. Tell me more about u
You: I like cookies. :3
Stranger: u r FUNNY.
You: D:
Stranger: where in uk?
You: England
Stranger: so, besides cookies- what else?
You: Crisps
Stranger: Too easy. Is that it? That's all your giving up?
You: Brownies?
You: Tea?
You: I like food. D:
You: I'm sitting here outside a McDonalds waiting for it to open. ;--;
Stranger: have fun. bye
You: D:
You: BUT!
You: DO YOU WANT AN APPLE PIE?
Stranger: not from micky-d's
You: D:
You: I'll make it. D:
You: I'll make it with cookies and Big Macs.
Stranger: you're too kind. have fun
You: D:
You: I'LL MAKE IT WITH SWEAT AND TEARS! ;--;
Stranger: don't cry in my food. thanksfor the offer though. see ya
You: D:<
You: Would you like fries with that?
Stranger: i'm good. bye
You: D:
You: YOU'LL DIE OF STARVATION!
Stranger: probably so. it's a risk worth taking
You: You know, you're kinda cute. Wanna make a fat girl happy? :D
Stranger: how so?
You: I'd like a pony.
You: ...And a cheeseburger, please, I'm starving. D:
Stranger: u really r funny. gotta go
You: Or maybe just a cheeseburger? D:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

How to marry a woman

Stranger: im having troubles with this girl i like and i know i should be focusing on school but i just need to know how to talk to her and hang out with her
You: xD Easy!
You: If you kill her family, you can adopt her. :3 And if that doesn't work, you'll at least see each other in court. Either way, it's a win win situation, right? :D
Stranger: you serious
Stranger: /
You: Yeah. :3 It'll work, won't it?
You: And you don't have to worry about in-laws. :D
Stranger: no i'm being serious about this
You: And so am I!
You: And she'll probably be in their will, so she'll get rich too. :D
Stranger: um i think im gonna go
You: D: Aww. But I'll miss you.
Stranger: ya i love you too:D fine i wont leave then?
You: :D And if you kill your own family, you'll get rich from their will too!
You: Well, unless they wrote that they won't grant you anything if you kill them. :c
You: My parents did that. :c
Stranger: wow what race are you
You: Tour De France. You?

...
...

Stranger: im sorry beautiful i gtg love you
You: But I'm a man. D:
Stranger: lol im joking dude i knew you werent a woman you dont even seem like one and your wierd
You: I still wear a bra, though. :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

My son is your son too.

You: Hey
Stranger: asl
You: 16/F/LA
Stranger: 17 m cal
Stranger: cali
You: Which parts?
Stranger: los angeles
Stranger: :)
You: Ah. I'm in New Orleans.
Stranger: legit!.
You: NO U!
Stranger: haha thanx ;)
You: D:<
You: I'm watching you... D;<
Stranger: are ya?
You: Yes, my son.
Stranger: hornY?
You: ...You are my son now.
You: Let us do son things, son.
Stranger: wat?
You: I will be your son too, son.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

(New person)

You: Hello, son.
Stranger: word up pops
You: I am your son, son.
Stranger: what kinda crack you smokin, son?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jesus?!

Stranger: If you're wanting info the only info I'll give is to say I'm in my late 20's. I will not tell you if I am Male or Female or where I live. If this is too much, disconnect.
You: o-o Hmm...
You: Pastaaaaa! :D
Stranger: Indeed
You: I like a the pasta... :D
Stranger: Good for you,
You: Do you like a the pasta, daddy? :D
Stranger: I dont eat
You: O:
You: I FOUND JESUS!
Stranger: Where was he?
You: O:< Said HE!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Funnyman

Stranger: hi
Stranger: 22 m
You: Hey
You: :o Really?
Stranger: yeahh
You: SAY SOMETHING FUNNY!!! :DDD
Stranger: why?
You: DO EEEET! O:<
You: HAHAHA! xDDDD YOU SO FUNNY! 8D
You: You're my hero, Funny man. ;D
You: xDDDDDDD THAT JOKE WAS HILARIOUS! YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT ME, FUNNYMAN! :'D <3
You: xDDDDD
You: :DDDDD
You: AHHAHAHHAHAAAAA!!!
You: I WANT YOUR BABIES, MR. FUNNYMAN!!! 8DDDDD
You: xDDDD
You: RIP, MR. FUNNYMAN! xDDDDDD
You have disconnected.

Vroom vroom!

Stranger: hi 23m UK, what u up to? ;) x
You: ;D Not much, you?
Stranger: watching tv
Stranger: asl?
You: I see. ;D That's nice. I'm painting my fingernails.
You: I'm from New York and I'm 22, hun. ;)
Stranger: nice
Stranger: you going out later then?
Stranger: or quiet night in?
Stranger: :)
You: Nah, just sitting here with nothing to do. What about you, big boy?
Stranger: i'm at home right now
Stranger: feeling lonely...
Stranger: could do with a bit of fun!
You: Fun? :o
Stranger: yeh
Stranger: ;)
You: Like video games? :D
Stranger: like naughty fun
You: :o Ooooh~ ;D
You: Vroom vroom from the rear? ;D
Stranger: if ur into that!
You: I'm asking if you're into it~
Stranger: u got msn? skype?
Stranger: i am!
You: Do you like it up the butt? :3 I mean your butt, hun.
Stranger: i never tried
Stranger: u like it?
You: ;D Let a real man show you how it's done, sweety.
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Innocence

Stranger: hey
You: heyy
Stranger: asl
You: 11/F/CA
You: :D
Stranger: nice are you horny :)
You: How old are you? :o
Stranger: i am 15
You: What does horny mean? :D
You: Nii-chan~ :D
Stranger: you know dirty
You: :o Muddy?
You: I don't get it. :(
Stranger: no horny
You: What's horny? D:
Stranger: cheeky
You: My cheeks? o-o
Stranger: you know cheeky
You: What about my cheeks? D:
Stranger: can i see your tits for dick :)
You: What's that? o-o I don't know these things! >___<
Stranger: were are you from
You: California~ :D
Stranger: okay you know what pussy is
You: o-o A cat?
Stranger: vegina
You: Virgina? o-o
Stranger: yes
You: That's a state, right?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Friday?

Stranger: horny?
You: ;D Mhm
Stranger: asl?
You: 17/F/LA
Stranger: do you have msn?
You: No, but do you know what day is tomorrow?
Stranger: skype?
You: Which seat should I take?
Stranger: oh god
You: IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Horny owl?

Stranger: horny male(:
You: Horned Owl. ;D
Stranger: o yes
Stranger: asl
Stranger: >??
You: Wanna see my pic? :D
Stranger: ((;
Stranger: ye
Stranger: yes
You: http://tinyurl.com/232xjgy
You: ;D
Stranger: lmao very funny

Eyes!

Stranger: ok, boobs or ass? choose only one!
You: Hmm...
You: Eyes!
You: :D
Stranger: that's the cutest answer.
You: Really? o:
Stranger: yes, because I only gave you two choices, and you chose neither.
You: Well, there's this saying. Eyes are the window to a person's soul. :3
Stranger: that's a lovely saying.
Stranger: I'm shocked that you actually sound sane.
You: I learned it from a Spanish Fortune Cookie. :3 No lie, I'll take a photo of it if I must. xD
Stranger: haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Russian

Stranger: M/f
You: Hello.
You: I am Russian girl. :D
You: It pleasure to meet you.
Stranger: Cute
Stranger: Italian guy:D
Stranger: Pleasure to meet you too
Stranger: How was your day
You: Oh, you from Italy. It good country, da? :D
You: My day good. It very interesting. :D
Stranger: Yehh. But I live in the usa
Stranger: Why intersecting?
Stranger: Interesting
You: Oh, you in America. Old Cold War friend.
You: How Space Program? It NASA, I believe.
You: Sorry
Stranger: Yehh
Stranger: How was your day interesting
You: Well, I went for store to reach bakery. They no have bread.
You: I have make own bread at own time!
Stranger: WTF lol
Stranger: What
Stranger: That's dumb
Stranger: Stupid bakery
You: Da. It very sad.
Stranger: Wanna play 20 questions
You: I game for this.
You: Excuse lack of language, though.
Stranger: Lol. It's Ight.
Stranger: Favorite color
You: I have colour of blue as mine favourite.
Stranger: Nice. Your turn.
You: What do American boy do in day of day life?
Stranger: Well. First we go to school. From 8 in the morning to 3 in the after noon. Then w e sit around until we do it again
Stranger: What's the most you have done with a guy
You: Oh. It sound cruel and unusual. Me do with guy? Let think.
You: Well, most I do have done is perhaps eat lunch with and talk to, da?
Stranger: I mean like. Kiss and stuff
You: We no interact that way. You know we have very odd culture to you.
Stranger: Ohhh. That's different
Stranger: Your turn.
You: It often too cold. Must cover body enough to become warm.
You: What the most you do with guy?
Stranger: I do stuff with girls. If a guy does stuff with a guy they are considered "gay" or "homosexual"
You: Oh, very different.
Stranger: Are you a virgin?
You: Da. We all wait to marriage. It tradition of culture to retain for purity.
Stranger: Ohhh. Ok. Cool
Stranger: Go
You: We want be good partner for husband or wife. Be so by be virgin and pure, da?
You: What make happy?
Stranger: What do you mean?
You: You happy when?
Stranger: When am I happy
You: Da.
Stranger: When I come home. And get to relax after work.
You: Ah.
Stranger: Do you wear a bra?
You: What that?
Stranger: The thing that goes over your boobs
Stranger: A piece of clothing
You: Da. We wear clothes. We must or be cold. Is also wear coat with shirt.
Stranger: No no no.
Stranger: You know what boobs are right
You: Is American slang?
Stranger: The proper word is breast
Stranger: The big lump on your chest
You: Oh. Da. I see what mean.
You: Wear shirt and coat, da?
Stranger: Yehh. How big are those?
Stranger: Are the lumps big
You: We get size large extra and medium. It also come small and small extra. Many shirt size. Some fat and some skinny.
Stranger: Ohh. Yumm go it
You: I wear black shirt. It has loga, da?
You: I mean logo
Stranger: Nice
You: Is correct word?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Its your turn
You: Logo on shirt has words "Йтщуз"
Stranger: Nice. Ask a question
You: It company, da?
Stranger: Yehh
Stranger: My turn?
You: perhap?
Stranger: Ok. Do you have a Facebook or email?
You: What?
Stranger: What is your email address
You: What that?
Stranger: Like. Yahoo
You: I think American slang?
Stranger: Msn
Stranger: Aol
You: Is slang?
Stranger: Go to yahoo.com
Stranger: Nope
Stranger: It's a thing used for chatting
Stranger: How do you chat with others on the computer
You: Actually, I'm an American guy that lives in Texas who was practicing his Russian accent. :3 Was it good? xD
Stranger: Hahaha. Yes Lolz. I. You ha me fooled. Ok truth is im a girl from Arizona. Haha
You: Haha. xD
Stranger: We both lied(:
Stranger: Pretty kick ass tho I gotta admit
You: Thanks! xD I really love using that accent. :3
Stranger: Haha.
Stranger: So how old are you
Stranger: No lying(:
You: I speak it in real life at school. I can practice the speech at school and the grammar here. xD
You: Uhm... 17? xD
Stranger: Ohh. I'm 18 female.
Stranger: Are you horny(:
You: xD Nah.
Stranger: Awhhh
You: I have a girlfriend, she's amazing, and I'd never dishonor her. :3
Stranger: Well bye hun
Stranger: Gotta go find me a horny man
You: xD Cya, comrade!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

RUN! D:

You: Hey
Stranger: FUCK
You: WHAT?!
Stranger: ITS RIDICULOUS
You: HOW?!\
Stranger: THEYRE EVERYWHERE
You: WHO?!
Stranger: THE FUCKING SQUIRELLS
You: I KNEW IT!
Stranger: THEY WONT LEAVE ME ALONE
You: GET A DOG!
Stranger: THAT'S A GOOD IDEA
Stranger: THANKS
You: YOU WELCOME!
Stranger: IM GONNA GO DO THAT. I HOPE THERE'S PET STORES OPEN AT 6 AM
You: HURRY!
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mmm

Stranger: hey
You: Hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 16/F/LA
Stranger: 17 m norway
Stranger: horny?
You: Ja! :D
Stranger: Want to rate a pic of my dick?
You: Can I ask you a question first? :D
Stranger: And are you norwegian or do you know yes (ja) no(nei) ?
Stranger: yes you can
You: Have you ever drunk cow blood before? :3 (I know some German and Ja is yes in German also.)
Stranger: Nope I haven't
Stranger: want to rate it?
You: D: Aww. That's too bad. You have to try cow blood some time! :3 What about pig feces?
Stranger: Nope, i've eaten sheep eyes though
You: Only pussies ear sheep eyes. xD What about the intestine of a bull?
You: I have a fetish of eating unusual parts of animals... Some in humans too, but that's not safe to talk about! xD
Stranger: haha
Stranger: no i havent eaten that either
You: It's delicious!
Stranger: I guess, hah
You: And the blood stains your teeth, making a very unique shade of red. :D
Stranger: so does paint
Stranger: heh
You: Paint isn't as good. I've tried it plenty of times.
You: Cow blood does the trick. :D
You: I drink it every month during sacrifice, so it's a pretty shade of red now. :3
Stranger: sounds like
Stranger: no nvm
You: o: Sounds like what?
You: I moved to LA from Romania. :D
Stranger: Sounds like something they would do in satanistic groups
You: o:
You: Yep! :D
You: The upsidedown star? :D It's on my forehead. My family thought blue would be an adorable color, so it's blue, not red. ^^
You: It looks quite beautiful, to be honest. o:
Stranger: lol
Stranger: trololololo
You: Huh?
You: That's the Russian thing, right? :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I WIN!

Stranger: I am an oracle. Ask me any question
You: Why are you the oracle?
Stranger: Because i am one fourth black, one forth hawaiian, and one half el salvadorian
You: Why are you one fourth black, one fourth Hawaiian, and one half El Salvadorian?
Stranger: Welllll
Stranger: when a half black/half hawaiian daddy and a full el salvadorian mommy love each other very muuuuch...
You: Why did they love each other very much?
Stranger: Because my ma was a bit of a slut and my dad was a married marine who wanted to bang some navy sailor
Stranger: Aka
Stranger: My ma
Stranger: So...
Stranger: Hormones!
You: Why was your mother a bit of a slut and your dad a married marine who wanted to bang some Navy Sailor?
Stranger: My ma was 19
You: Why was she 19?
Stranger: And all marines want pussy
Stranger: and my ma was 1985
You: Why do all marines want pussy cats?
Stranger: Because we're ballers
You: Why are you ballers?
Stranger: Cause we're Marines
You: Why are you Marines?
You: I thought you were an oracle.
Stranger: That is the question most Marines ask themselves after regretting their decision to join
Stranger: Annnnd
Stranger: Because Marines are basically oracles
Stranger: Everyone knows that
You: Why is that the question that most Marines ask themselves after regretting their decision to join and why are Marines basically oracles?
Stranger: Because most Marines hate being Marines
Stranger: And because friend just said so
You: Why do most Marines hate being Marines?
Stranger: Because war is hell
You: Why is war hell?
Stranger: Have you ever been shot at?
You: Why have I never been shot at?
Stranger: Seen your brother killed in combat?
You: Why have I never seen my brother be killed in combat?
Stranger: Probably because you live in a nice neighborhood
You: Why do I live in a nice neighborhood?
Stranger: Because you've never gone to war
You: Why have I never gone to war?
Stranger: because your white
You: Why am I white?
Stranger: Because I'm doing it for you
You: Why are you doing it for me?
Stranger: because ur ancestors came from england
You: Why were my ancestors from England?
Stranger: Because I love my country
You: Why do you love your country?
Stranger: because they. Got bored of europe
You: Why did they get bored of Europe?
Stranger: Because it has given me everything in my life that is good and pure
Stranger: because europe is small
You: Why has it given you everything in your life that is good and pure?
You: And why is Europe small?
Stranger: Because other Marines before me gave their life so that you and me can live in this great nation
Stranger: Because geologically water has contained it into many clans and thus many countries in a small space
You: Why have other Marines before you given their lives so that you and I can live in this great nation?
Stranger: because their nation called on them
You: Why does geologically water contain it into many clans and thus many countries in a small space?
You: Why did their nation call on them?
Stranger: Because of the way our ancestors migrated
You: In what way did our ancestors migrate?
Stranger: because communism was spreading into vietnam
You: Why did Communism spread into Vietnam?
Stranger: They migrated from mesopatamia into the sahara, the mediterranean and africa
Stranger: Becbe
Stranger: because communism started in russia
You: Why did they migrate from Mesopotamia into the Sahara, the Mediterranean and Africa?
You: Why did Communism start in Russia?
Stranger: Because the ice age made them
You: Why did the Ice Age make them?
Stranger: because Stalin was an asshole
You: Why was Stalin an asshole?
Stranger: Because the Lord willed it so
You: Why did the Lord willed it so?
Stranger: because karls marx was misunderstood
You: Why was Karls Marx misunderstood?
Stranger: I do not know the Lords will, only He knows his plan
You: Why does he only know his plan?
Stranger: Because his book was used wrong
Stranger: because He is holy and all knowing
You: Why was his book used wrong?
You: Why is he Holy and all knowing?
Stranger: Because Stalin wanted money, power
You: Why did Stalin want money and power?
Stranger: because the Lord is the Lord
You: Why is the Lord the Lord?
Stranger: Because he was probably treated bad as a kid
Stranger: Because the Holy Bible says so
You: Why was he probably treated bad as a kid?
You: Why does the Holy Bible say so?
Stranger: because his father drank to much vodka
You: Why did his father drink too much vodka?
Stranger: Because russians drink
You: Why do Russians drink?
Stranger: because its cold
You: Why is it cold?
Stranger: And because the apostles wrote the Bible so
You: Why did the apostles write the Bible so?
Stranger: Because there is an absence of heat
You: Why is there an absence of heat?
Stranger: because they saw the miracles of the Lord and jc
Stranger: Because the sun doesn't shine in russia
You: Why did they see the miracles of the Lord and JC?
You: Why doesn't the Sun shine in Russia?
Stranger: because they were in the right place at the right time
You: Why were they in the right place at the right time?
Stranger: Because of its geological position and the axis tilt of the planet
Stranger: because luck was on their side
You: Why does the geological position and the axis tilt the planet?
You: Why was luck on their side?
Stranger: Because that is how the suns gravitational pull affects the planet
Stranger: because they had their lucky rabbit foot
You: Why does the Sun's gravitational pull affect the planet?
You: Why did they have their lucky rabbit foot?
Stranger: Because of the postion of earth in the solar system
Stranger: because they were bored
You: Why is it because of the position of the Earth in the solar system?
You: Why were they bored?
Stranger: Because they were sitting on omegle like me making half this shit up
Stranger: You win
Stranger: My head hurts haha
You: VICTORY!!!! 8D