~lol~

Stranger: Nepal
You: Every time I read Nepal...
You: I think Nipple... Dx
You: Or Nappa Auto Parts...
Stranger: lol
You: Every time I read lol...
You: I think of a drowning man... Dx
You: ~~~~~~lol~~~~
Stranger: whats ur name?
You: Bond...
You: James... Bond...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I did it! ~

Stranger: tell me something about yourself
You: I do things at night...
You: ;D
Stranger: like what
You: Your mom
Stranger: i see
You: You do? D: But I shut the door!
You: LOOK AWAY SONNY
Stranger: voyeur here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Dayum!!!

Stranger: hi asl pls, m 42 uk here
You: DAAAYYYYUUUUMMM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

HEY YOU!!

You: HEY YOU!
Stranger: hi asl
You: I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!
Stranger: so
You: WE GOT RUSSIANS, WE GOT UKRAINES, WE EVEN GOT NORWEGIANS! COME ON DOWN TO BUFFALO BILL'S EUROPEAN RANCH TODAY! :D
You: ONLY THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $500,999!!!
You: :D
Stranger: go to hell
You: WE ARE LOCATED THERE!
You: RIGHT NOW, THE LAVA IS BURNING OUR BUILDING!
You: THE RANCH IS ON FIIII-YAAAA!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Female? :D

Stranger: Female?
You: Not gonna find one. xD
You: If you do, let me know.
You: :3
Stranger: k
Stranger: =DDDDDDDDDD
You: xDD

Apples! :D

Stranger: heyy
You: Hey. :3
Stranger: f 18 usa;)
You: xD M 16 Texas
Stranger: ;)nicee
You: Mhm! :D
Stranger: you hornyy?;)
You: Perhaps. O:
Stranger: my tits are a full C
You: I have an apple. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Yo quiero Taco Bell

tranger: i like to get naked with u
You: Are you an American male?
Stranger: hellz to the ya
You: Thought so. Only American guys are horny assholes and only Americans say U instead of YOU despite how close the letters are... Such a poor society...
Stranger: well u no what i love u
You: I find it funny how a Frenchie has better grammar than an American that actually speaks English all the time.
You: Such a pitiful country you live in.
Stranger: do u know how to make curly frys
You: Yes.
Stranger: awsome
You: Because your penis looks like that because you aren't straight?
You: Am I right?
You: Is that why you like curly fries?
Stranger: hey my penis is as straight as a free way
You: That's what she said.
Stranger: and if youve seen my pen is u would know
Stranger: i know
Stranger: she also rode it
You: You mean you actually have one?!
You: This is new to me! Please, tell me more. I had no clue American guys had them.
Stranger: well french phoque
You: Je ne sais pas.
Stranger: we we
You: That's offending...
Stranger: im mexican
Stranger: sir
Stranger: sur
You: Go make me a taco. It's the only thing you're good for. That and jumping fences.
Stranger: i know i should be in the olympics
You: Yeah. If jumping fences were a sport.
Stranger: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You: Do you accept defeat, future Taco Bell employee?
Stranger: hey
Stranger: no
You: ¡Holá!
Stranger: i dont
Stranger: hello
Stranger: mister
You: ¡Me madre comes tu madre!
Stranger: bendeho
You: :D I knew you'd understand that.
Stranger: thats mean
Stranger: fuck this im gonna work
You: Merci
You: Tell Pidget I said hi!
Stranger: okay
You: I mean, Tell Pidget I said hi.
You: He's the dog.
You: He died, though...
You: SO TELL HIM HI! :D
Stranger: okay foo
You: :D Oh, and I'm an American boy in Texas.
You: Such a sad country.
Stranger: oh anyways ur still a phoque
You: That's what she said.
Stranger: she right
You: Tu madre.
Stranger: fuk off joto
You: MOJO JOJO!!!
Stranger: suk my cok
You: CURSE YOU POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!!!!!
You: CURSE YOUUUUUU!!!!!
You: -shakes fist in the air-
Stranger: go back to france
You: Merci! *Powderpuff
Stranger: how can u type u big gay phoque
You: Actually, I forgot... Was it Powerpuff or Powderpuff?
Stranger: its cocaine powder
Stranger: wanna buy some foo
You: Nah. I'll pass this time Edwardo. I'd like some meth though, por favor!
Stranger: okay
Stranger: wierdo
You: :D ¡Senior!
Stranger: by phoque
You: ¡Yo no entiendo, seniorita! D:
Stranger: fuck u
You: Will do. :D
Stranger: im senior
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

0"

Stranger: how big
You: 0 "
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

By: Lauren :D <3

In da butt

Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: asl plz??
You: Why do you want it? What's your purpose here?
Stranger: to fuck u
You: In da butt?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Strange little man

Stranger: do u have nice tits?
You: Yes, now go away. D:
Stranger: bye
Stranger: :D
You: Bye >_o
Stranger: take care
You: You too, strange little man. :3
Stranger: :D
Stranger: how do u know im a little?
You: >:1 LEAVE MY PRESENCE AT ONCE!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

heyy:)

Stranger: hi
You: heyy:)
Stranger: ur a girl
Stranger: wait
Stranger: no
Stranger: dont tell me
You: ur funni:D
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ur a girl
Stranger: i can tell
Stranger: all the smiley faces
Stranger: :)
Stranger: am i right?
You: No.
Stranger: FUCK!
Stranger: lol
You: xDDDDDD
Stranger: so ur a guy?
You: No.
Stranger: AHHHHH!
Stranger: :P
You: I'm Lady Gaga.
Stranger: ahahahahahaha!
Stranger: fuckin hilarious
You: RAH RAH RUMP RAHRAH RAH
Stranger: oh dude u have a good sense of humor

Troll win

Stranger: horny 18 male with foot fetish :3
You: :D ME TOO!
Stranger: lol what.
You: I like feet! :D
Stranger: but you're a dude :|
Stranger: i'm not looking for a dude :|
You: xD I'm not a dude, dude.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Well when you said "me too" i assumed ALL of it xD
You: I'm a bro, dude. x3
You: xD
Stranger: FUCK
You: XDD
Stranger: TROLL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Happy?

Stranger: gay?
You: I am happy. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

On, off, on, off, on, off.

Stranger: i want to know how to turn my boyfriend on
You: There is an ON switch in the back of his head, I'm sure.

THE LARGEST IN CHINA!

Stranger: why? do you have big boobs?
You: YES! I HAVE THE LARGEST IN CHINA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Police Search

Stranger: looking for a girl
You: Can you describe her?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Espanol?

Stranger: hola you speak spanish?
You: ¡Hola!
Stranger: de donde eres
Stranger: ?
You: Mi madre comes tu madre. :D ¡Es muy asco!
Stranger: que?
You: Tu madre es el taco. ¿Entiendo?
You: * Entienda
Stranger: de donde eres?
You: Tejas. ¿Y tú?

[b]
Stranger: Hey you speak Spanish?
You: Hello!
Stranger: where are you
Stranger:?
You: My mother eat your mother. : D It's disgusting!
Stranger: who?
You: Your mother is the taco. Do I understand?
You: * You Understand
Stranger: where are you?
You: Texas. And you? [/b]

¡Ole!

You: Hey
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl
You: 19/F/LA
Stranger: nice
Stranger: 21 male spain
You: ¡Tu madre es muy asco!
Stranger: you know what you have written
You: Is it the accursed phrase?
Stranger: Your mother is very nausea
Stranger: this is the meaning
You: I meant "awful". My mistake.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

There is one A.

Stranger: m or f
You: May I buy a vowel?
Stranger: no but you can kill yourself
You: A
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hello, I'm Chris Hansen.

Stranger: Hi !! I'm 12 years old girl who looking for 12-16 boys or girl and one thing that I will ignore people who wanna talk about sex ! Thank you ... :)
You: I'm 21... 8D I'll still talk to you, though...
Stranger: okee
Stranger: :D
You: I have a van... And some candy... :D
Stranger: ah :(

HAHA ITS A CHICKEN JOKE

Stranger: Greatt r u corny???
You: Yes! :D I am corny. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

And now, I'm a dog!

Stranger: hi you a girl
You: I am? D:
Stranger: well i am a boy so this is good sweetypie
You: Wait... Wait... I'm a girl?
Stranger: are you u said it with a questionmark but i thought you meant like dugh retard
You: You can't call me a retard when you don't even know how to spell... =/ Retard...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The day I got twenty bucks.

Stranger: Hey im 18 f and super horny, i love to be dominated...wat would u do to me, i go both ways
You: $20 says you're a guy. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Creepy! :D

Stranger: im a horny guy looking for a horny girl that wants to see me jack off on webcam!!
You: Sure. :D But I'm a fat girl.
You: 8D I'll stare at you with a creepy smile, then suddenly fall over and not get up...
You: Then I'll drown in my droll and die.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I guess that's a no...

Stranger: sexii female looking for a horny male....
You: Fat man looking for a fat girl to play Scrabble with. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I checked. Imma Guy.

Stranger: sooo?
Stranger: guy or girl?
You: How can I tell?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Being Fat Hurts :c

Stranger: asl
You: 17/F/California
Stranger: 16 m mass
Stranger: what do you look like
You: I'm fat.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Can I make an estimate? xD

Stranger: looking for the guy with the biggest cock on here ;)
You: D8
You: But we don't memorize that crap. D;
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nicest person on Omegle

Stranger: sorry to disconnect

So thats what it means! :D

Stranger: hi
You: Bonjour!
Stranger: asl
You: A is for Apples, S is for Sour! L is for lemony leeeemoooonnnnsss!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Don't cross the streams!

Stranger: Do stuff naked. oh, god!
You: Like?
Stranger: Cooking...
Stranger: Taking a shower!
Stranger: Sex no! It's perversion!
You: Are you a guy? xP
Stranger: Yep!
You: It's only gay if balls are touching. 8D
Stranger: It's only gay if u look each other in the eye!

He asked for it!

Stranger: wats poopin
You: Shit.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

KFC

Stranger: DO YOU WANT SOME KFC?
You: NO!
Stranger: GOOD YOU'RE WHITE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Cams are for squares!

Stranger: i'm 22 male... i'm looking for cute lady
You: I'm 22 female... I'm looking for the same thing. :D
Stranger: :)))
Stranger: i wish u would lok for cute guy :)
You: Nah! :D Got one.
Stranger: i would make u very happy :)
You: So would the bub sitting next to me. :D
Stranger: :)
Stranger: i would make u very happy on msn :)
You: The guy sitting next to me right now can make me happier. :D
Stranger: i wish i could wacth u while he is making u happy :)))
Stranger: lol
You: :D You can watch us play Monopoly, if you'd like.
Stranger: :)
Stranger: i would love that :)

Virus! >:D

Stranger: hi :)
You: Hey. :D
Stranger: 16/f/paris, u?
Stranger: nice!
Stranger: maybe u could install the omegle webcam plugin so we can see us ;)
You: BOT! D:
Stranger: i use this one ( http://bit.ly/dyRoMy ), has nice quality
You: D8> Bot!
Stranger: come on!! go and install it, i w8 u here... ;)
You: BOT!
You: Wait... This is good... 8D
You: YEAH! GET THEM PERVS!
You: GOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!

Wom

Stranger: wow
You: Is mom upsidedown.

Noob Encounter

Stranger: asl??//
You: ...Why?
Stranger: jst 4 frmlty
You: Vowels exist for a reason.
Stranger: r u gay or lasbian
You: Are you stupid or mentally ill?
Stranger: m jst askng ur sex
Stranger: m or f
You: I take it that you're just stupid... F
Stranger: k f9
Stranger: age
You: 21...
You: USE THIS ➜ ?
Stranger: wht is ths
You: It is a question mark... It is used in questions...
Stranger: frm where
You: The English language...
You: The thing you're failing at...
Stranger: sex chat
You: Buy a real prostitute and get the fuck off my Omegle... Omegle is not a sex chat, you filthy bastard.
Stranger: u bich mind ur yng
You: ... WHAT?
You: DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
You: ¿HABLAS ESPANOL?
Stranger: ny wy jst tell me wht is ial sex
You: Speak English and I will tell you. If you're so stupid you can't even properly write a sentence, then you belong in a dumpster or North Korea...
Stranger: can u tell me wht is oral sex
You: Almost there, buddy! I'm proud of you, and please don't give up! Just a few more steps. Try the Shift Key. It is two keys above the Space Bar, and to the far left.
Stranger: wht hapn????????
Stranger: wht is ths
m askng oral sex
You: You know that "A" that you used in the word "Asking"? Use that A more often. :D Try again, friend.
Stranger: I M ASKING WH IS ORAL SEX
You: Calm down buddy... Clearly you can't communicate... I will ask you if this is what you said and you're going to answer Y for yes and N for no... Ready?
You: Did you mean, "I'm asking what is oral sex."?
Stranger: ya
You: Alright then... Now that that's cleared, I'll tell you...
Stranger: k tell
You: http://tinyurl.com/yf79zk7
You: Go to that URL.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

His only terrorism is being a troll...

Stranger: my name is not khan but i am a terrorist
You: My name is Khan but I am not a terrorist
...
Stranger: osama bin laden
Stranger: i m in iraq right now
You: OSAMA DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU IDIOT!
...
Stranger: ya allah....rahimullah allah e shenshah
You: He doesn't pronounce it in English...
You: His keyboard would be in Arabic.

Honesty?

Stranger: horny girl with msn?
You: Stupid man with MSN?
Stranger: yes
You: I give you credit for that, but a las, I don't give a fuck. ;D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Smart

Stranger: are you hard?
You: No, I'm James.
Stranger: alright smart ass
You: Who's being smart now?
Stranger: ummm.... you are

[Note: I asked who was being smart, not being a smart ass... +1 for complement! :D]

Little boy

Stranger: 17 m usa hornyyy
You: 28 F UK
Stranger: msn cam ;)?
Stranger: or am i to young
You: D:< Little boy, I was in 11th grade in America when you started school...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Chris!

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Christopher! :D How are you, man?
Stranger: fine thanks,
You: That's great! :D So how are the kids?
Stranger: im 15
You: But how are the kids? D: Have they gone back to school?
Stranger: i have not kids
You: But you did last time I saw you! D:
Stranger: what?
Stranger: xD
You: When you visited last fall, you and the kids came over for bobsledding. :D Remember?
Stranger: no i not remember
Stranger: very nice knowing
Stranger: xD
You: Well, you were out of sugar to make truffles, so you and your wife came over for a cup, so I asked you if you wanted to go bobsledding. You were a bit confused by my question, then I assured you that there would be free food, so you came... :D
Stranger: im not man
Stranger: xD
You: Neither was you wife... Anyways, don't you remember me, Chris? D: We went to college together! Dx
Stranger: xD
Stranger: lol

Gregory?

Stranger: hi
Stranger: 20 m usa
You: Hey
You: 35/F/USA
Stranger: horny?
You: My son is 20. :D
Stranger: ill take that as a yes
You: Are you my son?
Stranger: no
You: Gregory! Get off of Omegle!
Stranger: [Image]
You: Gregory... Go to bed, darling.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Turn off!

Stranger: Horny
You: Hey. ;D
Stranger: Horny?
Stranger: M/f
You: F
Stranger: Oo I'm m
You: Congratulations
Stranger: Talk dirty babe
You: I like Twilight.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Age?

Stranger: hey
You: Hey
Stranger: are you over 18 years ?
You: Are you over 30 years?
Stranger: nope
You: Over 25?
Stranger: nope
You: Over 10?
Stranger: u are right
You: FUCK
You have disconnected.

I chose F

Stranger: hey
You: Hey. :D
Stranger: m or f?
You: Can I choose any? O: The F appeases me.
Stranger: i meant male or female
You: Can I still choose any? D8

HEIL!

Stranger: Hi are you a justinbieberfan follow me on twitter @rumeysalovejb
You: FUUUUUUU
You: ONION RING IS SUPERIOR!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Rivals

Stranger: from india ?
You: No, I'm from... PAKISTAN!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

YMCA

Stranger: *FIST PUMPS*
Stranger: HEY
You: HELL YEAH!
You: *FIST PUMP*
You: SUP!
Stranger: GTL?
You: WOT?
Stranger: GYM/TAN/LAUNDRY
Stranger: BEFORE WE GO OUT
You: YMCA/LIGHT/WHITE ARE NOT TO BE MIXED WITH COLORED
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hry!

Stranger: hry
Stranger: *hney
Stranger: *hey
You: Hry. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Irony

Stranger: my god.. u cant even spell our hometown

Taste the Rainbow!

Stranger: 16 m bi
You: 13/M/Louisiana
Stranger: gay? straight? bi?
You: All of them.
Stranger: lol. do you know what they mean?
You: I like Skittles.
Stranger: you wanna taste my rainbow?
You: I only like the green ones.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm flat

You: I was called flat today... :c
Stranger: Sometimes bigger isn't always better.
You: D: Are you calling me flat too?
Stranger: I don't know if you are, but if you were, it might not be a bad thing is what I'm saying.
You: But what if I wasn't? ;-; Then it's a bad thing?
Stranger: Bigger can sometimes be better.
You: But you just said that bigger is sometimes not better.
You: There are two ways! How can they both be better? Dx
You: When one is better, the other is worse!
Stranger: I'm saying sometimes it doesn't matter if you're flat or not.
You: But what it if does? D: They wouldn't let me in the school club for nonflaties! Dx
Stranger: Who would want to be in a club that bases things off of that?
You: People who like free food! :O
Stranger: I can buy you food, if you want free food.
You: I don't take monies from strangies. D:
Stranger: You wouldn't be taking the money, you'd be taking the food.
You: D: Are you implying that I have to provide a service for it to not be taking money?
You: I CAN'T MOW LAWNS! Dx
Stranger: Hahaha, no. If I was considering the food as money, then you would be providing a service for payment. I just like to buy food for girls, which I'm assuming you are.
You: But if x = 4, then 4 = x. So thus, food = money and money = food.
Stranger: Except, I'm using money to get the food, which in turn I'm giving to you for free. Thus, money does not equal food.
You: Money = Food = Free
You: So Money = Free
Stranger: But variable A(that's me) would be using money(Variable M) to get food(Variable F) to give to Variable P(That's you). So when I use the money to get food, money is no longer a part of the equation. It's just food and you.
You: Why am I variable P? D: IS THAT A MESSAGE? Dx
Stranger: It's just you remind me of someone, so I went with P.
You: Prostitutes? D: So I'm a flat prostitute now? ;---; I WANT MY V8 NAO!!!
Stranger: hahaha, you remind of a friend whose name starts with P.
Stranger: and no, she's not a prostitute
You: :O I shall name you Joe.
You: And you shall by my little joe.
You: So A=M=F=P....
You: A=P? :O

Flat

Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: will you be my girl
You: If I had breasts, maybe. [I was referring to that I'M A FRIGGIN GUY, but it seems he didn't notice. xD]
Stranger: =[ i like flat chest
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm you and you're you

Stranger: Hey
Stranger: Sup, stranger? :d
You: You're stranger...
Stranger: No, you're the stranger, I'm you!
You: No, you're stranger, I'm you, not you!
Stranger: No you're the stranger, I'm you, not you! :o
You: I just said that, Stranger! D<
Stranger: I just said that as well, stranger!
You: I'm you, not you! If you're you and I'm you, then we're both you and thus one person, and that is you.
Stranger: So I'm you after all. >_>
You: No, I'm you... You can't be you if you're you and not me...
Stranger: But you said that so!
Stranger: :O
Stranger: Liar. :<
You: I said that I'm you and you're stranger, but because of the fact that you won't give up that you're you and I'm stranger, then we are both you and not... me... IGNORE MEEE!!!!
Stranger: Weirdo. :p
You: I'll have you know, I do wear two shoes! D<
Stranger: How
Stranger: ...
Stranger: intriguing!
Stranger: Tell me more, please?
You: Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been.
You: Lives in a dream.
Stranger: Pfft, or don't talk to me, I guess.
Stranger: :<
You: Waits at the window.
Stranger: Now THAT is weird.
Stranger: =P
Stranger: I don't like The Beatles
Stranger: At all. :<
You: WAT.
You: FOOL!
You have disconnected.

EMM or EFF?

Stranger: im a15 yer old mael from denmark
You: Congrats
Stranger: thanks=)
You: Would you like an award?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: M/F
You: I present to you the "I'm a 15 year old from Denmark with horrible spelling" award!
Stranger: thanks
You: :D
You: Welcome to America.
Stranger: thanks but i´ve been ther befor
You: Welcome to Mexico.
You: :D
Stranger: thats not usa u know
You: Welcome to Denmark!
You: :DD
Stranger: Do you even know where it is
You: Welcome to McDonalds!
You: (Below Norway)
Stranger: hahahaha M/F
Stranger: yes
You: Welcome to Afghanistan! :D
You: I'm a MILF.
Stranger: nice wanner fuck then
You: No, it mean "My Idiot Life Fritos"
You: 15 year olds these days. :D
Stranger: yes but Milf is menny thinks
You: And I am a Grammar Nazi...
Stranger: okai sorry i have disleksia
You: BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR!
You: YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR!
You: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, YEAAAHH!!!
Stranger: hahaha M/F
You: TELL ME THAT YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND YOUR BIRD CAN SING!
You: BOY, YOU'RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT!
Stranger: my bird can´t
You: THERE'S A FOG UPON LA.
Stranger: Toxicity
You: I'VE GOT A WORD OR TWO.
You: TO SAY ABOUT THE THINGS THAT YOU DO. YOU'RE TELLING ALL THESE LIES ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS WE CAN'T HAVE WITHOUT CLOSING OUR EYES.
You: I'VE BEEN TOLD WHEN A BOY KISSES A GIRL, TAKES A TRIP AROUND THE WORLD
You: CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I'LL KISS YOU, TOMORROW I'LL MISS YOU, REMEMBER I'LL ALWAYS BE TRUE.
Stranger: a you a boy or a girl
You: -Guitar solo-
You: WHY DON'T WE IT IN THE ROAD?
You: *DO
You: NOONE WILL BE WATCHING US, WHY DON'T WE DO IT IN THE ROAD?
You: YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION!
Stranger: : a you a boy or a girl
You: WELL, YOU SHOULD SEE POLYTHENE PAM!
Stranger: a you a boy or a girl
You: CLEEEEAAAN TANGERINE!
You: ANY TIME AT ALL! ANY TIME AT ALL! ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS CALL, AND I'LL BE THERE.
You: PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES!
Stranger: a you a boy or a girl
Stranger: anwser me
Stranger: pls
You: WE'RE SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND!
You: WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THE SHOW!
You: WE'RE SORRY BUT IT'S TIME TO GO.
You: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEART CLUB BAND!
You: WE'RE SORRY BUT IT'S TIME TO GO.
You: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTTTS!
Stranger: ses
You: CLLUUUUB
You: BAAAAANDD!
You: WHOO!
You: PENNY LANE!
You: IS IN MY EYES! AND IN MY EARS!
Stranger: in penny lane ther is a barber schoop
You: (o 3o) I TOLD YOU ABOUT STRAWBERRY FIELDS.
You: THE PLACE WHERE NOTHING IS REAL.
You: WHERE EVERYTHING GROWS.
You: I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE WALRUS AND ME, MAN.
You: THE WALRUS WAS PAUL.
You: LOOKING THROUGH A GLASS ONION.
You: OH YEAH!
You: OHHHH YEAH!
You: LOOKING THROUGH A GLASS ONION.
You: ...M
Stranger: tak for i aften!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: HELP!
You: I NEED SOMEBODY!
You: HELP!
You: NOT JUST ANYBODY!
You: HELPP!!!
You: When I was younger so much younger than today.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Clever ruse, ol' chap!

Stranger: sup faggot
You: How did you know I was a bunch of sticks? D=
Stranger: ohhhhhh
Stranger: like british ciggarettes
Stranger: or whatever
You: No. LIKE A BUNCH OF STICKS!
Stranger: sure
Stranger: the british are funny
Stranger: like that
You: I'm not British! I'm ENGLISH! There's a major difference wot wot.
Stranger: um
Stranger: whats the difference?
Stranger: no scots and welsh?
You: B ≠ E, you dunce!
Stranger: um
Stranger: sure
Stranger: .
Stranger: but if youre english
You: Didn't you learn your alphabet, you bugger?
Stranger: wouldnt that put you under great britain
You: No, over Great Britain, since I can't live underground.
You: I'm not a mole!
Stranger: dude
Stranger: fuck you
Stranger: thats my only response haha
You: How do I fuck myself, my good man?
Stranger: youre british
Stranger: get over it
You: "It"?
You: What is IT?
You: (It's it)
Stranger: youre british
Stranger: accept that face
Stranger: fact*
You: Fact? It might not be a fact! It might be a clever ruse!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Ur?

Stranger: hi
You: Did it take 20 seconds to really say hi? o-o
Stranger: ya
You: YOU'RE TOO SLOOOOOW
Stranger: not 20.. less than that
Stranger: no i am fast
You: That's what he said
Stranger: where r u from?
You: Earth
Stranger: me too
Stranger: good na
You: NA?
Stranger: helllllooooo
Stranger: nothing its the style in india
Stranger: where r u from?
You: Na na na naaaa, hey hey hey, goodbyeeee
You: :D SING ALONG!
Stranger: asl?
You: Is that a question? D8<
Stranger: that means, can u tell me ur asl???
You: My asl... I have AT&T hyperspeed DSL.
Stranger: ur age sex and location
You: What about it?
You: What's "ur"? o-o
Stranger: 21 m
Stranger: your
You: Twenty one meters!?
Stranger: fuck u bitch, u dumb ass.....
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

¿Qué?

You: ¿Chalupa?
Stranger: Qa'pla!
You: ¡Olé!
Stranger: YOU INSULT MY HONOR?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Yo

You: Yo
Stranger: Yo
You: Yo-Yo
Stranger: Yoooooooo
You: Yo dawg, I heard you like Yo-yos, so I put a yo-yo in your yo-yo so you can yo-yo while you yo-yo.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Luke

You: Luke... We meet again.
Stranger: luke? who is luke?
You: Don't play games with me Luke. Why did you do it?
Stranger: i'm not luke
You: Stop messing around, Luke! You pillage my village, crop my crops, and kill my krill... You're going to pay, Luke.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mr. Toilet is happy

Stranger: hello!
You: Hey
Stranger: whats up?
You: Sitting on the toilet. x3 You?
Stranger: standing in the shower
Stranger: watching fight club!
You: So you're standing in the shower watching a wrestling match... Sounds pretty epic.
Stranger: as always
Stranger: hows the toilet?
You: Fed well.
Stranger: thats too bad
You: No, that's a good thing. Makes Mr. Potty happy and well fed.
Stranger: haha, are you really on the toilet?
You: Yep
Stranger: way to be honest
You: Hey, it's better than the perverts that only want to talk to women, amirite?

I only 7 years old

Stranger: hi:D
Stranger: asl?
You: He.
You: I can speak english.
You: can you speak english?
You: Because i can/
Stranger: of course. i'm english
Stranger: asl?
You: 7/m/Aussie
Stranger: okay, boy
Stranger: do you have any sister?
You: what?
You: I'm not a boy, I'm a young adult.
Stranger: okay, bro
You: I'm 8 in 2 months.
Stranger: wow i can't wait for your b'day! haha
Stranger: do you have any s
Stranger: do you have any sister?
You: I'll invite you.
You: Yeah. My sister is a pile of poo.
Stranger: thankyou
You: I don't like her.
Stranger: wew how old is she?
You: she's 4.
Stranger: do you have any OLDER sister hm?
You: no why?
Stranger: yea i jst wanna making love with some random girl
You: what does making love mean?
You: I'll be back soon. I am going to ask my mummy what making love means.
Stranger: okay;)
You: My mummy wants to talk to you.
Stranger: sure.
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi.
You: I don't know what site my son is on, but I want to know what you were talking to him about.
Stranger: i jst tell him about making love
You: WHAT!
You: He's only 7 years old!
You: How dare you!
Stranger: i'm sorry. ithough he
Stranger: i'm sorry. ithough he lied about his old
Stranger: sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wat?

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: What?
You: Is that the sound you make when throwing up?
Stranger: age sex loctain
You: What about it?
Stranger: wats urs
You: Is that a question? I don't see no question.
Stranger: wats urs?
You: Is that even a sentence?
You: Wats? You mean watts?
You: I think my lamp has about 40 volts.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Game Show! #1

You: ARE YOU READY TO PLAY?!
Stranger: YES
You: GREAT!! You will be given three questions from our live audience of 200. You may answer in any way imaginable!
Stranger: COOL :)
Stranger: ok now what
You: Now then, in popular culture, the phrase "That's what she said" is commonly used in annoying jokes. WHAT. DID. SHE. SAY?
Stranger: uhh..
Stranger: um she said hi
You: GREAT ANSWER! Now then, in the mid-2009 movie, "Star Trek", WHAT. DID. SCOTTY. DO?
Stranger: I DONT KNOW OKAY, IM SO STUPID!
Stranger: he pissed on scooby doo
Stranger: :)
You: WRONG! Next question!
Stranger: uhh i bet you dont know urself :)
You: WHO MADE THE INTERNET?
Stranger: GOD!
You: Al Gore
Stranger: um no
Stranger: it was god
Stranger: god made al gore and al gore made the internet but it was originally by god so shame
You: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE THE BRAIN CAPACITY OF A BANANA! Thanks for playing, we'll see you again on Tuesday night for Taco Tuesday!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Dave

Stranger: hi
You: Hey, Dave!
Stranger: I'm not Dave
You: How are you doing, Dave? Is the wife still alive?
Stranger: I am your wife
You: I'm sorry Dave, I cannot do that.
Stranger: I am Dave
You: Yes, Dave. Haven't we already established that?
Stranger: no
You: Well, we have.
Stranger: my weener
You: Dave... I need to talk to you about your drug problems.
Stranger: my weener doesn't have a drug problem
You: Lay off the LSD, man. It doesn't stand for Low Sodium Donuts.
Stranger: I thought it did and gimme doughnuts.
Stranger: wanna touch weeners
You: I cannot give you donuts or doughnuts, Dave. I would not like a hotdog, but thank you for the offer.
Stranger: just the ends lets touch weeners plz
You: Dave, what would you say if I told you that I was your mother?
Stranger: I am your mother
You: Dave, you cannot be my mother if you've never been laid before. Please think logical next time I ask you a question.
Stranger: I've laid with your mother
You: My mother is dead.
Stranger: well she didn't complain when I fucked her hard...
You: MY MOTHER WAS DEAD, JACKASS!!!
Stranger: That's why she didn't complain...
You: I suppose that would be logical...
Stranger: your mouth is logical

U horny?

Stranger: hey
You: Hey
Stranger: asl
You: 17/F/CA
Stranger: im 18 m
Stranger: u horny?
Stranger: cuz i am
You: Do you like Twilight? :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.