I'm flat

You: I was called flat today... :c
Stranger: Sometimes bigger isn't always better.
You: D: Are you calling me flat too?
Stranger: I don't know if you are, but if you were, it might not be a bad thing is what I'm saying.
You: But what if I wasn't? ;-; Then it's a bad thing?
Stranger: Bigger can sometimes be better.
You: But you just said that bigger is sometimes not better.
You: There are two ways! How can they both be better? Dx
You: When one is better, the other is worse!
Stranger: I'm saying sometimes it doesn't matter if you're flat or not.
You: But what it if does? D: They wouldn't let me in the school club for nonflaties! Dx
Stranger: Who would want to be in a club that bases things off of that?
You: People who like free food! :O
Stranger: I can buy you food, if you want free food.
You: I don't take monies from strangies. D:
Stranger: You wouldn't be taking the money, you'd be taking the food.
You: D: Are you implying that I have to provide a service for it to not be taking money?
You: I CAN'T MOW LAWNS! Dx
Stranger: Hahaha, no. If I was considering the food as money, then you would be providing a service for payment. I just like to buy food for girls, which I'm assuming you are.
You: But if x = 4, then 4 = x. So thus, food = money and money = food.
Stranger: Except, I'm using money to get the food, which in turn I'm giving to you for free. Thus, money does not equal food.
You: Money = Food = Free
You: So Money = Free
Stranger: But variable A(that's me) would be using money(Variable M) to get food(Variable F) to give to Variable P(That's you). So when I use the money to get food, money is no longer a part of the equation. It's just food and you.
You: Why am I variable P? D: IS THAT A MESSAGE? Dx
Stranger: It's just you remind me of someone, so I went with P.
You: Prostitutes? D: So I'm a flat prostitute now? ;---; I WANT MY V8 NAO!!!
Stranger: hahaha, you remind of a friend whose name starts with P.
Stranger: and no, she's not a prostitute
You: :O I shall name you Joe.
You: And you shall by my little joe.
You: So A=M=F=P....
You: A=P? :O