Flat

Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: will you be my girl
You: If I had breasts, maybe. [I was referring to that I'M A FRIGGIN GUY, but it seems he didn't notice. xD]
Stranger: =[ i like flat chest
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm you and you're you

Stranger: Hey
Stranger: Sup, stranger? :d
You: You're stranger...
Stranger: No, you're the stranger, I'm you!
You: No, you're stranger, I'm you, not you!
Stranger: No you're the stranger, I'm you, not you! :o
You: I just said that, Stranger! D<
Stranger: I just said that as well, stranger!
You: I'm you, not you! If you're you and I'm you, then we're both you and thus one person, and that is you.
Stranger: So I'm you after all. >_>
You: No, I'm you... You can't be you if you're you and not me...
Stranger: But you said that so!
Stranger: :O
Stranger: Liar. :<
You: I said that I'm you and you're stranger, but because of the fact that you won't give up that you're you and I'm stranger, then we are both you and not... me... IGNORE MEEE!!!!
Stranger: Weirdo. :p
You: I'll have you know, I do wear two shoes! D<
Stranger: How
Stranger: ...
Stranger: intriguing!
Stranger: Tell me more, please?
You: Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been.
You: Lives in a dream.
Stranger: Pfft, or don't talk to me, I guess.
Stranger: :<
You: Waits at the window.
Stranger: Now THAT is weird.
Stranger: =P
Stranger: I don't like The Beatles
Stranger: At all. :<
You: WAT.
You: FOOL!
You have disconnected.

EMM or EFF?

Stranger: im a15 yer old mael from denmark
You: Congrats
Stranger: thanks=)
You: Would you like an award?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: M/F
You: I present to you the "I'm a 15 year old from Denmark with horrible spelling" award!
Stranger: thanks
You: :D
You: Welcome to America.
Stranger: thanks but i´ve been ther befor
You: Welcome to Mexico.
You: :D
Stranger: thats not usa u know
You: Welcome to Denmark!
You: :DD
Stranger: Do you even know where it is
You: Welcome to McDonalds!
You: (Below Norway)
Stranger: hahahaha M/F
Stranger: yes
You: Welcome to Afghanistan! :D
You: I'm a MILF.
Stranger: nice wanner fuck then
You: No, it mean "My Idiot Life Fritos"
You: 15 year olds these days. :D
Stranger: yes but Milf is menny thinks
You: And I am a Grammar Nazi...
Stranger: okai sorry i have disleksia
You: BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR!
You: YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR!
You: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, YEAAAHH!!!
Stranger: hahaha M/F
You: TELL ME THAT YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND YOUR BIRD CAN SING!
You: BOY, YOU'RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT!
Stranger: my bird can´t
You: THERE'S A FOG UPON LA.
Stranger: Toxicity
You: I'VE GOT A WORD OR TWO.
You: TO SAY ABOUT THE THINGS THAT YOU DO. YOU'RE TELLING ALL THESE LIES ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS WE CAN'T HAVE WITHOUT CLOSING OUR EYES.
You: I'VE BEEN TOLD WHEN A BOY KISSES A GIRL, TAKES A TRIP AROUND THE WORLD
You: CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I'LL KISS YOU, TOMORROW I'LL MISS YOU, REMEMBER I'LL ALWAYS BE TRUE.
Stranger: a you a boy or a girl
You: -Guitar solo-
You: WHY DON'T WE IT IN THE ROAD?
You: *DO
You: NOONE WILL BE WATCHING US, WHY DON'T WE DO IT IN THE ROAD?
You: YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION!
Stranger: : a you a boy or a girl
You: WELL, YOU SHOULD SEE POLYTHENE PAM!
Stranger: a you a boy or a girl
You: CLEEEEAAAN TANGERINE!
You: ANY TIME AT ALL! ANY TIME AT ALL! ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS CALL, AND I'LL BE THERE.
You: PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES!
Stranger: a you a boy or a girl
Stranger: anwser me
Stranger: pls
You: WE'RE SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND!
You: WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THE SHOW!
You: WE'RE SORRY BUT IT'S TIME TO GO.
You: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEART CLUB BAND!
You: WE'RE SORRY BUT IT'S TIME TO GO.
You: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY, SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTTTS!
Stranger: ses
You: CLLUUUUB
You: BAAAAANDD!
You: WHOO!
You: PENNY LANE!
You: IS IN MY EYES! AND IN MY EARS!
Stranger: in penny lane ther is a barber schoop
You: (o 3o) I TOLD YOU ABOUT STRAWBERRY FIELDS.
You: THE PLACE WHERE NOTHING IS REAL.
You: WHERE EVERYTHING GROWS.
You: I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE WALRUS AND ME, MAN.
You: THE WALRUS WAS PAUL.
You: LOOKING THROUGH A GLASS ONION.
You: OH YEAH!
You: OHHHH YEAH!
You: LOOKING THROUGH A GLASS ONION.
You: ...M
Stranger: tak for i aften!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: HELP!
You: I NEED SOMEBODY!
You: HELP!
You: NOT JUST ANYBODY!
You: HELPP!!!
You: When I was younger so much younger than today.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Clever ruse, ol' chap!

Stranger: sup faggot
You: How did you know I was a bunch of sticks? D=
Stranger: ohhhhhh
Stranger: like british ciggarettes
Stranger: or whatever
You: No. LIKE A BUNCH OF STICKS!
Stranger: sure
Stranger: the british are funny
Stranger: like that
You: I'm not British! I'm ENGLISH! There's a major difference wot wot.
Stranger: um
Stranger: whats the difference?
Stranger: no scots and welsh?
You: B ≠ E, you dunce!
Stranger: um
Stranger: sure
Stranger: .
Stranger: but if youre english
You: Didn't you learn your alphabet, you bugger?
Stranger: wouldnt that put you under great britain
You: No, over Great Britain, since I can't live underground.
You: I'm not a mole!
Stranger: dude
Stranger: fuck you
Stranger: thats my only response haha
You: How do I fuck myself, my good man?
Stranger: youre british
Stranger: get over it
You: "It"?
You: What is IT?
You: (It's it)
Stranger: youre british
Stranger: accept that face
Stranger: fact*
You: Fact? It might not be a fact! It might be a clever ruse!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Ur?

Stranger: hi
You: Did it take 20 seconds to really say hi? o-o
Stranger: ya
You: YOU'RE TOO SLOOOOOW
Stranger: not 20.. less than that
Stranger: no i am fast
You: That's what he said
Stranger: where r u from?
You: Earth
Stranger: me too
Stranger: good na
You: NA?
Stranger: helllllooooo
Stranger: nothing its the style in india
Stranger: where r u from?
You: Na na na naaaa, hey hey hey, goodbyeeee
You: :D SING ALONG!
Stranger: asl?
You: Is that a question? D8<
Stranger: that means, can u tell me ur asl???
You: My asl... I have AT&T hyperspeed DSL.
Stranger: ur age sex and location
You: What about it?
You: What's "ur"? o-o
Stranger: 21 m
Stranger: your
You: Twenty one meters!?
Stranger: fuck u bitch, u dumb ass.....
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

¿Qué?

You: ¿Chalupa?
Stranger: Qa'pla!
You: ¡Olé!
Stranger: YOU INSULT MY HONOR?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Yo

You: Yo
Stranger: Yo
You: Yo-Yo
Stranger: Yoooooooo
You: Yo dawg, I heard you like Yo-yos, so I put a yo-yo in your yo-yo so you can yo-yo while you yo-yo.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Luke

You: Luke... We meet again.
Stranger: luke? who is luke?
You: Don't play games with me Luke. Why did you do it?
Stranger: i'm not luke
You: Stop messing around, Luke! You pillage my village, crop my crops, and kill my krill... You're going to pay, Luke.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mr. Toilet is happy

Stranger: hello!
You: Hey
Stranger: whats up?
You: Sitting on the toilet. x3 You?
Stranger: standing in the shower
Stranger: watching fight club!
You: So you're standing in the shower watching a wrestling match... Sounds pretty epic.
Stranger: as always
Stranger: hows the toilet?
You: Fed well.
Stranger: thats too bad
You: No, that's a good thing. Makes Mr. Potty happy and well fed.
Stranger: haha, are you really on the toilet?
You: Yep
Stranger: way to be honest
You: Hey, it's better than the perverts that only want to talk to women, amirite?

I only 7 years old

Stranger: hi:D
Stranger: asl?
You: He.
You: I can speak english.
You: can you speak english?
You: Because i can/
Stranger: of course. i'm english
Stranger: asl?
You: 7/m/Aussie
Stranger: okay, boy
Stranger: do you have any sister?
You: what?
You: I'm not a boy, I'm a young adult.
Stranger: okay, bro
You: I'm 8 in 2 months.
Stranger: wow i can't wait for your b'day! haha
Stranger: do you have any s
Stranger: do you have any sister?
You: I'll invite you.
You: Yeah. My sister is a pile of poo.
Stranger: thankyou
You: I don't like her.
Stranger: wew how old is she?
You: she's 4.
Stranger: do you have any OLDER sister hm?
You: no why?
Stranger: yea i jst wanna making love with some random girl
You: what does making love mean?
You: I'll be back soon. I am going to ask my mummy what making love means.
Stranger: okay;)
You: My mummy wants to talk to you.
Stranger: sure.
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi.
You: I don't know what site my son is on, but I want to know what you were talking to him about.
Stranger: i jst tell him about making love
You: WHAT!
You: He's only 7 years old!
You: How dare you!
Stranger: i'm sorry. ithough he
Stranger: i'm sorry. ithough he lied about his old
Stranger: sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wat?

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: What?
You: Is that the sound you make when throwing up?
Stranger: age sex loctain
You: What about it?
Stranger: wats urs
You: Is that a question? I don't see no question.
Stranger: wats urs?
You: Is that even a sentence?
You: Wats? You mean watts?
You: I think my lamp has about 40 volts.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Game Show! #1

You: ARE YOU READY TO PLAY?!
Stranger: YES
You: GREAT!! You will be given three questions from our live audience of 200. You may answer in any way imaginable!
Stranger: COOL :)
Stranger: ok now what
You: Now then, in popular culture, the phrase "That's what she said" is commonly used in annoying jokes. WHAT. DID. SHE. SAY?
Stranger: uhh..
Stranger: um she said hi
You: GREAT ANSWER! Now then, in the mid-2009 movie, "Star Trek", WHAT. DID. SCOTTY. DO?
Stranger: I DONT KNOW OKAY, IM SO STUPID!
Stranger: he pissed on scooby doo
Stranger: :)
You: WRONG! Next question!
Stranger: uhh i bet you dont know urself :)
You: WHO MADE THE INTERNET?
Stranger: GOD!
You: Al Gore
Stranger: um no
Stranger: it was god
Stranger: god made al gore and al gore made the internet but it was originally by god so shame
You: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE THE BRAIN CAPACITY OF A BANANA! Thanks for playing, we'll see you again on Tuesday night for Taco Tuesday!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Dave

Stranger: hi
You: Hey, Dave!
Stranger: I'm not Dave
You: How are you doing, Dave? Is the wife still alive?
Stranger: I am your wife
You: I'm sorry Dave, I cannot do that.
Stranger: I am Dave
You: Yes, Dave. Haven't we already established that?
Stranger: no
You: Well, we have.
Stranger: my weener
You: Dave... I need to talk to you about your drug problems.
Stranger: my weener doesn't have a drug problem
You: Lay off the LSD, man. It doesn't stand for Low Sodium Donuts.
Stranger: I thought it did and gimme doughnuts.
Stranger: wanna touch weeners
You: I cannot give you donuts or doughnuts, Dave. I would not like a hotdog, but thank you for the offer.
Stranger: just the ends lets touch weeners plz
You: Dave, what would you say if I told you that I was your mother?
Stranger: I am your mother
You: Dave, you cannot be my mother if you've never been laid before. Please think logical next time I ask you a question.
Stranger: I've laid with your mother
You: My mother is dead.
Stranger: well she didn't complain when I fucked her hard...
You: MY MOTHER WAS DEAD, JACKASS!!!
Stranger: That's why she didn't complain...
You: I suppose that would be logical...
Stranger: your mouth is logical

U horny?

Stranger: hey
You: Hey
Stranger: asl
You: 17/F/CA
Stranger: im 18 m
Stranger: u horny?
Stranger: cuz i am
You: Do you like Twilight? :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.