Genderbender

Stranger: hello
You: Hello mortal.
Stranger: what brings you here?
You: My collection of ear wax telepathically told me to visit this site.
Stranger: ok, that's cool. my ear wax is pretty boring.. never tells me anything
You: That is a sad thing to hear about, Dave. I'm sorry for your misfortune, Dave.
Stranger: i think you got the wrong person
You: My database refers to you as Dave, Dave. I cannot verily change my views of you, Dave.
Stranger: you mean.. my parents lied to me?
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: okay.. when did i do the sex change operation? or is dave a girls' name too?
You: The database does not lie, Dave. You have been branded as a humanoid named Dave, and I cannot change such results without tampering with your DNA makeup.
Stranger: sooo.. there was an operation?
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: god dammit
You: We are sorry to inform you of your newly acquired moobs, but to make matters better, we will present you with a very convenient watermelon.
Stranger: but wait.. if i'm really a guy, i shouldn't get my period every month..
You: Affirmative.
Stranger: but i do
You: You may still conduct child birth. The effects will only last a mere eight decades.
Stranger: this is very weird
You: We are sorry for the inconvenience, Dave. Would you appreciate a complementary Soap Opera TV show centered around your ego?
Stranger: yes please
You: Production will begin in three decades. Expect for the show to be called Rina, where an actor will play you as the main character, Rina.
You: She will be handsome.
Stranger: hm.. what actor?
You: It is not confirmed.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.